I’m sure you’ve heard this all before. Maybe a pal confided in you, your sister or cousin, heck, maybe even your mother.
“That woman, stole my man.”
But how true can this statement be? To steal is to take without consent. As if the man was sitting there idle, and the woman decided to scoop him up and make him hers. Is that even possible?
Maybe I write from a place of ignorance. I have never had a boy/man stolen from me. I wouldn’t even know where to look out for the signs. But surely if this man loves me, wants to be with me, wont he then “refuse to be stolen?” Won’t he raise the alarm and say: MWIZI! MWIZI! Huyu anataka kuniiba? Won’t he grant me that alarm and then if I refuse to act on it, then be on his way?
Can a man really be stolen or is it that he was toying with me from the beginning, not too sure about where his allegiance lies?
A friend of mine confided in me the other week about how her best friend (all too familiar script) sliced her and took away her man. Stole him. According to her, it all started with whatsapp messages:
“The chic kept smiling and lagging at their whatsapp chat. I confronted the guy and asked him to stop but wapi, that’s when I noticed kumbe things zimeenda far, they are now going for dinner without my knowledge, kidogo kidogo sleepover at his place… then next thing hehee! I’m single.”
I was tempted to ask her, ARE YOU SURE HE WAS YOUR MAN? Sounds to me like they were the ones dating. I sympathize with my friend, she is beautiful (kwanza a model wewe heeh!) so soft spoken and really deserves better.
Bringing me back to my question. Can a man really be stolen, or was he just not that into you to begin with? Gentlemen, help us out here. What exactly happens ndio uibiwe? Ladies, ever had your man “stolen” what are the signs to look out for? Na akitaka kuibiwa, sii aende tu? What am I to do? Fight for him? How?
Live. Love. Learn
I can relate because it happened to me.Well I can’t say he was stolen because he’s a grown man and he made a decision but what I can say is my “friend” was at fault as well.They both had a role to play in it but it showed me that you need to be wise on who trust as your friend because the could be your greatest enemy.The best revenge was leaving him completely and it wasn’t easy but I had to respect myself and walk away with my dignity intact. One tell-tale sign is a woman’s instinct period!You will just feel it in your gut that something is amiss!I remember when I’d visit my “friend” with the guy, I always felt strange whenever they hugged. I used to shrug it off thinking am just a jealous girlfriend but in the end it turned out that my suspicions were right. Another thing is that the guy will start taking you for granted and the communication will be strained. Oh and I remember my “friend” went totally quiet on me probably because she was feeling guilty.Truth is,it was difficult getting stabbed in the back by my friend but am also happy I dodged a bullet with the guy!
Waaaah! Pole sana Roselyn. I am glad you are at a better place with yourself and self esteem isn’t damaged. Stay strong girl!
Faithful/loving men cannot be stolen! Only boys can .. they say “you never know what you got til its gone”… awesome read as usual
Thank you Tiwatinka!
Hahaha nobody wants nuh Boring girl
What’s boring though Bonface? Ama you’re saying boring girls are the ones that are left?
an adventurous woman is all I pray for ready to try out new moves not new men.Full of objectives and dream maker no one needs to deal with boring it makes me sick.
Hahahaha! Duly noted Champe. We wish you all the best in your quest.
indeed you have spoken arrogantly like a woman who has been in a relationship no more than 4-6 yrs. ikifika 20’s when you become to busy to remember or to tired to try new cause you were busy building and building and building in down the line with children in your care, jobs in your management, women for chamas, and to many bills…. when you wount even have time to check yourself twice cause you will run late because plans will be disintegrated and meetings cancelled. Then when he will want you to have the small waist he found you with but yet carryed his 3 children, when he want your boobies firm and booty tight, when he will want to feel your skin smooth and hands soft yet, and want you cancel everything else for him then your child comes crawling in your arms cry and you cant ignore it. and then he will be left idle and not so busy then you will understand the devil came crawling and he didn’t understand yet in the morning you were soo in love, he couldn’t wait alittle longer and he thirsted and he can’t even explain how it happened. how he fell in the trap then you will understand why men will always be men regardless that he was right for you he was your real man and not your boy.
Wow! thats INTENSE Irenee. Change is inevitable and I believe a man who loves you should understand that. The changes happen with him too sio? And should he not see and RESPECT the changes our bodies have been through to bear him children or respect our sacrifices, well, he can also step. Life goes on. Not all men are like this though.
Here’s how we get stolen. You see the way a baby is stolen in the streets and with no time, the mother is raising the alarm “uuuwiiii, mtoto wangu amepotea. Nisaidieni kumtafuta.” How does the baby disappear? Probably someone gave him a sweet, then said they would give him more sweets along the way etc., etc. Just incentives along the way. That’s how it starts with a man. A girl comes to you, shows you the caring she can give you, which you probably aren’t receiving from your girlfriend, knows how to do you (more than your girlfriend). You wouldn’t tell your girlfriend that so and so knows how to cook better than you, or she’s much more caring than you. Nope. If the girlfriend doesn’t change, the man is scooped. Before she knows it, she’s single.
There will always be a person who cooks better or “pretends” to be more caring. If you don’t tell your partner what you like, where they are falling short AS YOU ALSO RECOGNISE where you have fallen short and try to get to a middle ground, then temptation even as a mirage appears real. Communication is key. Huwa tunaogopa kusema ukweli.
All thing changes. But a man never changes. The only thing that can prevent u from cheating is if your girlfriend is all satisfying. And is there any lady who can satisfy you entirely? I think none. So ladies instead of waiting 4 ur man to soothe and bembeleza u take the initiative. Ama utapata mama mboga ama mboch anakubembelezea bwana. Kama Jay na Bey wana shida what about sisi tu? Any man or woman can be stolen.
Loool! Thanks for your comment Renny! Indeed any relationship needs work!