My Diary

Dear Frenemy…

A frenemy is a person who is friendly to you despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry. Do you have a frenemy?

We all have one. I certainly do. And you know the thing about frenemies? They are easy to spot.
Instead of wishing you well, they talk behind your back about your family, how not great you are doing at work and constantly try to sabotage you and your joy.

I used to get upset, but now I just laugh it off. Today, I decided to write her this letter.

P.O.BOX 0000,

Dear Frenemy.

How have you been since the last time we played pretend? Life been good? Good. I decided to write you this letter in high hopes that it will get to you faster and sooner than I will. See I have been so busy with this website and decided to just kill two birds with one stone. Clever isn’t it? You wouldn’t admit, I know. I hear you have been busy spreading all manner of lies about me. That I don’t deserve the good things happening to me. That you are better suited for some of the jobs I get. That you are the bestest est est EVER. I applaud your efforts in selling yourself. Really, I do. What is it they say? You have to believe in yourself first before anyone else does? I love that about your spirit. Umejiamini. But can you jiamini without mentioning my name to so many different people all the damn time??”

Did you know, frenemy, that the pie is BIG ENOUGH for all of us? You, me, and the girl next door straight out of college trying to join our world? Did you know that the only competition is with yourself and not everyone is after what you have? Ah then again, who am I to tell you the ways of our world? You are the bestest ever! And don’t think I am the only one – you put people down even those you work with in an attempt to have it all. You steal other people’s opportunities and where you can’t, you cast doubt. Why not be happy with what you get legitimately?

You need to start focusing on your own life instead of constantly worrying about me. I’m good but more importantly, I am LIVING my life and loving it. It was always strange – I would meet new people and realize they already had a preformed opinion of me. That’s when the cocktails would come out and I would find out that YOU had been speaking ill of me to them. YOU were the reason they stayed away. Because when we’d finally connect, they would say: “Wow, you really aren’t as bad as I was told you were”. I have heard this so many times it doesn’t even shock me any more.

Imagine you don’t have to tell all these lies? Imagine you can stop pretending? Imagine you can now stop subliminally tweeting because guess what? I muted and blocked you kitaaambo. Because ever since my journey of self discovery, I made a decision to peacefully detach from you and your negativity because I love me and want to surround myself with light.

It is my hope Dear Frenemy, that after this letter you will stop pretending to be buddies with me. Let’s just agree to not get along na kila mtu aishi maisha yake. It’s better that way. I wish you all the best in your endeavors, keep slaying, keep shining because guess what? I don’t have to blow your candle for mine to shine brighter. As you were.


Yours ex-frenemy,

Mwalimu Rachel.

*The above letter was to a fictional frenemy in an attempt to get you to have the guts to send that letter to your frenemy or have a face to face sit down. Enough with the pretense ladies! Pretenders are worse than murderers! Remember…a fictitious character; but! if the shoe fits…*



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