My dearest son Jabari, my first born. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh. Mummy is trying to sound all cryptic and game of thrones-ish…is it working? Have you watched G.O.T? The answer better be NO! I write this a month to your 3rd birthday. Just the other day you were my little baby, how are you now a teenager? By now maybe we have the best relationship ever. Maybe we get on each others nerves and you kinda don’t like me much. It’s the cross I have to carry as your mum. I may be hard on you at times JJ but a promise I made to myself when you were a toddler was that I would be your mother FIRST, and buddy later. I love you my little angel and I really want whats best for you.
What to expect when you’re 16:
Girls. They will be all around you. You are a handsome young lad (well at least you were when you were 3! lol) So I expect girls to be attracted to you. I mean, with your dad’s height and looks and my yellow pigment…why wouldn’t they? You will love the attention but remember to be kind, and gentle, don’t let it get to your head. You will make mistakes with girls along the way but that’s part of learning baby, your heart will be broken, and as much as I would love to pounce on her for that, I will TRY to keep my cool and be there for you because you know what? She probably doesn’t know any better. Talk to me son when these things happen, I give good advice! I promise not to judge or dharau your issue. (And please don’t go asking dad girls issues…he’s clueless.Trust me.)
Boys. So here’s the thing. You have your pals and maybe I don’t like ‘em. Maybe it’s just one I don’t like, maybe it’s all 3 of ‘em. Regardless, I will analyze the scenario, do my own investigations and see how I can compromise reach middle ground when it comes to the company you keep. I expect you lot to get into petty problems due to curiosity. However should you and your buddies there get into problems with the law, so help me God Jabari. I will send you to a convent. A man- and you are now a young man- is judged by the company he keeps. I don’t necessarily want you hanging out with the Pope, but there are boundaries that cannot be crossed. I am sure by the time you were turning 13 we discussed this. If you need a refresher course, see me. Stay away FAR FAR away from drugs, alcohol and crime. You have a long way to go in this journey called life.
Confusion. Physically you will change or have even started changing. Emotionally, you will feel things you haven’t before and might not know how to respond or handle them. Sexually, you will notice new things. Spiritually, you may wonder about religions and read things that question your faith. Understand my son that all that is NORMAL. I was there, your dad was there too. The best part is we are here! Talk to us when these things cloud your mind. We may even get a good laugh out of it! Overall, speak your mind. I will never be mad at you for that.
Bullying. When your teacher once told me that Trevor pushed you in play school, I felt all manner of anger deep within me. I wanted to come and meet Trevor face to face and pinch his cheek but I wondered, wouldn’t that make me a bully too? And aren’t you also supposed to fight your own battles and stand up for yourself? In this world, you will meet all manner of bullies. The trick if for you to not be a push over but also, not stoop to their level. You are the captain of your ship son, and when the winds blow, you must maintain your balance.
I expect you to be a HUSTLER my boy. Your father and I (wait… if you’re 16 that means I’m what? going to my 50’s? Christ! My company better be doing well by now and me and your daddy better be retired! Lol!) Anyway, back to what I was saying… Your dad and I are the grand hustlers man…We are currently working on a master plan that will set us up for life and pay your school fees! So nataka wewe pia uwe creative. Don’t just wait on us to give you money and things…What skills do you have that you can convert to some loose change LEGALLY? I have to insist. Legally. This will help you live to your full potential. I wish my parents were as liberal as we are with you. You love to dance. We have the videos to prove it- so dance your heart out my son! You love to sing too! You are obsessed with pianos, and your dad and I are looking into getting you those classes. We will support you in things that are to grow and benefit you. Because we love you. In conclusion, no matter what we go through, however crazy things get, talk to mum and dad!. I love you to the moon and back!