All I Want For Christmas.

Dear Diary:

Why can’t I get fitting leather pants?

Or leggings?

I am distraught diary. Really, I am. I am getting frustrated and almost giving up.

I sit and stare in envy as I see other girls rock them. In their high heels looking like something out of a Cat Woman or 50 Shades of Grey movie. Their noses up in the air like they better than everyone else.

I wanna be that girl! 😩 😂

And no, I’m not talking the 100% leather pants, I mean those are quite expensive right diary? Plus I hear they quite stiff and hard to walk in, quite heavy, and when it’s hot you cook in your own juices (yuck!) Or so I hear anyways, since hey, I’ve never owned a pair!

I’m looking more towards pleather (also knows as Poor Man’s Leather) you know, that soft and smooth material, shiny shiny kiasi, high waist, and has the magic property of STRETCHING.

That’s all I want, but ALAS! This is what I get.

Don’t you hate it when pants just don’t fit well?

My guy pale Toi market-Ken Toi as I have saved him on my phone, has been on the look out for those pants. He’s my clothes guy. He has my measurements. I thought by now I would be rocking them but each time he brings me the pants, something is off.

The black one with the elastic waist band were too tight on my stomach I thought I would injure my intestines. The proportions were off like this:

Kwani only skinny girls can wear leather pants?

NEEEEEEEXT!!!

The dark brown ones are just too long for me! I don’t want to take them to some tailor who will ruin everything! Then I will be stuck with funny looking pants. Nope.

NEEEEEXT!!!

Those greenish ones are just plain weird. Hai? The fit is wrong, my butt is hanging out, too tight on my thighs, could barely pull them up, hai jameni!

I want to scream diary!! I just don’t understand!

I mean, I’m not THAT big! Mara I’m a size 12 bottom, mara 14 depending on what I’m wearing. That’s what my tailor tells me. So just what is the problem here? Even Ken is almost giving up. He brings me these leather pants with such hope in his eyes. His smile very confident and re-assuring that: “Ah! Hii ni ya ki-sure! this will fit you, najua.” 

It’s a conversation we have had before so I am less optimistic overtime and for sure, none fits me in the end. I have considered going to my friend Andrew Kio of Blacjeans to have custom made leather pants! I know that’s not his speciality but I am desperate now.

Ken Toi promises me something this coming week. He sounded like he’s at his wits end trying to figure out my body type. After this, maybe I should just accept that I will never own a pair of well fitting high waist leather pants or leggings. Aki na vile niko na ka-crop top kapoa nilikua nimekapangia this holiday?

My ladies, do you have the same struggles as I do with pants? Or am I alone in this? Also do you know of a place I can get me a pair? Hola at the comments section below. Help a sister out.

Thank you!

   Love. Live. Learn.

   Mwalimu Rachel.